What did we do last night that was yellow?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
