No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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