Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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