he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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