before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
