i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
