I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
There are leaves in my underwear?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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