i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
