her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm like, not good at living.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
