my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Two words: blizzard sex
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
