She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
