We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
