I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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