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• (415): View more from California

  I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.

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• (518): View more from New York

  how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago

  (404): View more from Georgia

  so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?

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• (347): View more from New York

  we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  go home

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  do herpes really smell.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  What happened to him?

  (1-501): View more from Arkansas

  He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.

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