JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We talked him into tasing himself.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
