Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
