New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
