I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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