Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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