It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize