Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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