when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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