he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
