He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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