Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
