the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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