Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(424): View more from California

Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

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(516): View more from New York

i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(704): View more from North Carolina

he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..

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(815): View more from Illinois

i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.

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(469): View more from Texas

Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?

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(330): View more from Ohio

While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.

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