What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
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Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
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OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.