erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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