Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.

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  (541): I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that. http://tfl.nu/itf1
  Replies (29) Good night (2486) Bad night (664)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm

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  (386): Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm http://tfl.nu/fmji
  Replies (12) Good night (778) Bad night (4334)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"

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  (215): best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load" http://tfl.nu/n15m
  Replies (20) Good night (5152) Bad night (1105)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...

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  (920): He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of... http://tfl.nu/1eiy
  Replies (14) Good night (1210) Bad night (4462)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.

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  (651): i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest. http://tfl.nu/l8w8
  Replies (10) Good night (1582) Bad night (2315)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot

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  (336): I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot http://tfl.nu/utnt
  Replies (6) Good night (1983) Bad night (715)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.

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  (+44): It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals. http://tfl.nu/whom
  Replies (11) Good night (1775) Bad night (616)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.

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  (814): My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible. http://tfl.nu/fwco
  Replies (4) Good night (1060) Bad night (1569)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You need to be more adventurous.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way

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  (402): You need to be more adventurous. (1-402): I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way http://tfl.nu/a4mr
  Replies (4) Good night (1691) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..

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  (219): N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever.. http://tfl.nu/4w8h
  Replies (4) Good night (638) Bad night (933)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10

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  (817): A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10 http://tfl.nu/8aoh
  Replies (2) Good night (704) Bad night (369)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.

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  (304): I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/rvlh
  Replies (4) Good night (738) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco

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  (337): You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco http://tfl.nu/5cvy
  Replies (1) Good night (388) Bad night (561)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.

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  (701): Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5. http://tfl.nu/g6zt
  Replies (4) Good night (435) Bad night (1160)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true

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  (856): also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true http://tfl.nu/ky73
  Replies (9) Good night (633) Bad night (372)

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