Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(510): View more from California

you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(510): you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks. http://tfl.nu/dlzp

Replies (6) Good night (2734) Bad night (657)
Favorite
(630): View more from Illinois

The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(630): The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning.. http://tfl.nu/4rfg

Replies (16) Good night (4894) Bad night (1144)
Favorite
(845): View more from New York

Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(845): Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success http://tfl.nu/8g5x

Replies (12) Good night (4331) Bad night (910)
Favorite
(845): View more from New York

I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(845): I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey. http://tfl.nu/3eol

Replies (12) Good night (1309) Bad night (4140)
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays. http://tfl.nu/t82v

Replies (8) Good night (5028) Bad night (763)
Favorite
(506): View more from New Brunswick

Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(506): Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11. http://tfl.nu/fzyl

Replies (3) Good night (2292) Bad night (621)
Favorite
(419): View more from Ohio

The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(419): The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child. http://tfl.nu/ltf5

Replies (17) Good night (951) Bad night (2514)
Favorite
(218): View more from Minnesota

I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(218): I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent. http://tfl.nu/0vft

Replies (25) Good night (2492) Bad night (897)
Favorite
(785): View more from Kansas

What drink are we having for lunch?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(785): What drink are we having for lunch? http://tfl.nu/pv1n

Replies (5) Good night (1266) Bad night (932)
Favorite
(808): View more from Hawaii

My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(808): My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE. http://tfl.nu/6uku

Replies (4) Good night (1409) Bad night (661)
Favorite
(408): View more from California

IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(408): IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY http://tfl.nu/k5od

Replies (5) Good night (820) Bad night (473)
Favorite
(850): View more from Florida

I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(850): I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute. http://tfl.nu/idmm

Replies (2) Good night (1365) Bad night (451)
Favorite
(989): View more from Michigan

I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(989): I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway. http://tfl.nu/fnux

Replies (1) Good night (328) Bad night (554)
Favorite
(860): View more from Connecticut

Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(860): Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup http://tfl.nu/9il1

Replies (0) Good night (471) Bad night (195)
Favorite
(732): View more from New Jersey

I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(732): I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I http://tfl.nu/3rei

Replies (9) Good night (761) Bad night (227)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard