Texts From Last Night

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  (727): View more from Florida

  Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus

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  (727): Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus http://tfl.nu/l3dr
  Replies (17) Good night (2779) Bad night (597) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will

  (714): View more from California

  and a girl gets the red ring of death every month

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  (562): tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will (714): and a girl gets the red ring of death every month http://tfl.nu/ybz8
  Replies (59) Good night (5847) Bad night (1192)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours

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  (484): we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours http://tfl.nu/cvkh
  Replies (23) Good night (6743) Bad night (835) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I sold my books for weed money!

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Finals don't start for a week...

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  (732): I sold my books for weed money! (302): Finals don't start for a week... http://tfl.nu/onx1
  Replies (19) Good night (4031) Bad night (2465)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.

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  (860): i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess. http://tfl.nu/ekn6
  Replies (9) Good night (779) Bad night (4717) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.

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  (513): We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case. http://tfl.nu/f3uf
  Replies (17) Good night (3743) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.

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  (607): She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her. http://tfl.nu/f1tk
  Replies (7) Good night (4266) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.

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  (920): Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever. http://tfl.nu/t9h7
  Replies (9) Good night (2141) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.

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  (803): could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning. http://tfl.nu/cs20
  Replies (2) Good night (1128) Bad night (503) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  You were.

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  (203): I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night. (1-203): You were. http://tfl.nu/s399
  Replies (5) Good night (530) Bad night (2621) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.

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  (740): The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting. http://tfl.nu/j3yf
  Replies (8) Good night (503) Bad night (1201) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.

  (917): View more from New York City

  Please tell me you're talking about his personality.

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  (347): Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year. (917): Please tell me you're talking about his personality. http://tfl.nu/ofhy
  Replies (7) Good night (2007) Bad night (864)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.

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  (908): He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS. http://tfl.nu/gbcc
  Replies (16) Good night (1602) Bad night (537) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it

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  (401): If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it http://tfl.nu/cn0p
  Replies (3) Good night (968) Bad night (382) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.

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  (425): There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above. http://tfl.nu/ffte
  Replies (1) Good night (707) Bad night (116) Order T-Shirt

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