Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
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there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
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At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.