Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
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