The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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