At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Sorry about my life...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
