she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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