Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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