am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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