You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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