Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
