if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
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