Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize