she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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