Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
