Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
being pregnant is like rehab
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Randomize
