sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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