Im at strip club and am horny
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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