everyone is single if you try hard enough
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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