K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize