Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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