Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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