did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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