Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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