I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
