Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
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Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
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It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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