I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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