I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
