Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
