We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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