I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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