Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Randomize
