am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
