I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i came on her dog
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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