tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
