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• (435): View more from Utah

  Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.

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• (845): View more from New York

  Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.

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• (985): View more from Louisiana

  He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me

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• (858): View more from California

  So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.

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• (276): View more from Virginia

  She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Being responsible doesn't make memories.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.

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• (941): View more from Florida

  & I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....

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• (805): View more from California

  You left your phone here

  (805): View more from California

  Wait...

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