Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
well most of my day revolves around power hour
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
