I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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