Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
