Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There r osticjed everywhere
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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