im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
