Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
