Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
