It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
3 2 1 whiskey
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
