I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize