let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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